Malo humora...

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1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I grew up.

19.. Procrastinate Now!

20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With that?

21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.

27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
commitment for a pig.

28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

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I ne znas koliko je ovo sto si postovala istinito...

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Nisam jos 100% sigurna ali jos uvijek istrazujem...

Dopuna: 16 Avg 2005 15:43

Thought's for 2005

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich!

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays
no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among
the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as
to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.