Smešne i zanimljive slike,vicevi i fore na engleskom

• 2Ovo se svidja korisnicima: mcrule, Ghost of Sparta
  
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''My God! What happened to you?'' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.

''I got in a tiff with Riley.''

''Riley? He's just a wee fellow,'' the barkeep said, surprised. ''He must have had something in his hand.''

''That he did,'' Kelly said. ''A shovel it was.''

''Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?''

''Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's left boob.'' Kelly said. ''And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.''

• 2Ovo se svidja korisnicima: mcrule, Ghost of Sparta
  
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Why's eight afraid of seven?

Because seven eight (ate, ako neko ne shvati ) nine.

• 3Ovo se svidja korisnicima: mcrule, Ghost of Sparta, maxo95
  
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What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."

• 2Ovo se svidja korisnicima: mcrule, Ghost of Sparta
  
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Of course I didn't stop when the policeman wawed at me, Your Honour. I'am not that kind of a girl...

• 2Ovo se svidja korisnicima: mcrule, Ghost of Sparta
  
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BLACK TESTICLES

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still
heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure.
A long haired brunette nurse comes in to give
give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my
testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the nurse replies "I don't know,
Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles
black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and
his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them
around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's
nothing wrong with them, Sir !!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and
says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen
very, very closely......

"A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? "

• 1Ovo se svidja korisniku: Ghost of Sparta
  
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Super tema! Zaista steta sto je zamrla... :/

Volim engleske/americke viceve.





A young man walked into a jeweller’s shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his side. "I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend," he said.

The jeweller looked through his stock, and took out an outstanding ring priced at $5,000. "I don't think you understand ... I want something very unique," the young man said. At that, the jeweller fetched his special stock from the safe. The girls' eyes sparkled, and the young man said that he would take it.

"How are you paying?"

"I'll pay by check but, of course, the bank would want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow. Then I'll pick up the ring on Monday," the young man suggested. The jeweller agreed.

Monday morning a very pissed off jeweller phoned the man.

"You idiot, you lied. There's no money in that account!"

"I know, but can you imagine what a fantastic weekend I had?"

• 2Ovo se svidja korisnicima: mcrule, Ghost of Sparta
  
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Ja sam se fino nasmejao na dopiske sa sledeceg linka:
http://www.yurock.net/parents-text-messages/
(ne mogu da iskopiram posto je tekst dat kao slike).

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

• 3Ovo se svidja korisnicima: Srki94, maxo95, mcrule
  
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A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome
cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'

She ans wers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I h ave, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. ?I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK.??My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

• 2Ovo se svidja korisnicima: Srki94, mcrule
  
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Boy: I have wet dreams!!
Girl: Why? :O
Boy: I dreamed about you without makeup and i just pee'd myself