Smešne i zanimljive slike,vicevi i fore na engleskom

14

Smešne i zanimljive slike,vicevi i fore na engleskom

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Seven ate(eight) nine Mr. Green

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Napisano: 23 Maj 2012 11:09

Three swiss witch-bitches, which wish to beswitched swiss witch-bitch, wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch which wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?

SRB translate:
Tri švajcarske veštice-drolje, koje žele da budu izmenjenog pola, žele da gledaju tri dugmeta na švajcarskom Swatch satu. Koja švajcarska veštica-drolja, koja želi da bude izmenjenog pola, želi da gleda koje dugme švajcarskog Swatch sata?


Dopuna: 23 Maj 2012 11:15

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was quite surprised when they gave me a "Rolex".
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said: “I wanna watch.”

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Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

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Napisano: 24 Maj 2012 20:29

Serbian tourist arrives at the Croatian border.
Immigration officer asks him: "Occupation" ?
The Serb: "No, no, just visit"

Dopuna: 24 Maj 2012 20:52

Eminem:
-I'm not afraid!
Chuck Norris:
-I love the way you lie!

Dopuna: 25 Maj 2012 22:36

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six!"
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy six cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."

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A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"? The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"! Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green

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Boy and girl just had sex.
Girl: Ever met someone as hot as me in bed? ;p
Boy: Uhmm...Yeah just the one.
Girl: Ohh...
Boy: Yeah she's got the same hair colour.
Girl: ...
Boy: Same surname...lives at this address...
Looks a lot like you!
Girl: Awwww...That's so sweet ....
Boy: Yeah... your mum's awesome!

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Why do java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C# Mr. Green

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^^ Good one. Smile


Two cowboys came upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "He's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "About two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, furniture in wagon ..."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color, what's in the wagon -- just amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ugh ... not amazing ... wagon ran ... over me ... 30 minutes ago!" Mr. Green Laughing

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Three Texans go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and wake up in jail.
They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words.
He says, "I am from the Baylor School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and they let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am from the University of Texas School of Law and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.
They figure that the law is on this guy's side and let him go.
The last one is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm a Texas Aggie Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires..."

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My girl is like windows.
How?
She is seven

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