Smešne i zanimljive slike,vicevi i fore na engleskom

6

Smešne i zanimljive slike,vicevi i fore na engleskom

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  • Pridružio: 18 Apr 2003
  • Poruke: 1819
  • Gde živiš: Beograd

Odlican vic Smile ko ga jos nije video Smile
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Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me.



As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning,let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember...



The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent..



As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. "Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."



I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. 'Let's go!"



We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.



On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."



She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."



"Sure" I excitedly replied.



She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.



And I just sat there ---- on the couch ---- naked.

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  • Goran 
  • Prof.Mr.Dr.Sci. Traumatologije
  • Pridružio: 05 Maj 2003
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  • Gde živiš: Singidunum

A čovek se lepo ponadao da će "kvalitetno" da provede svoj rođendan, kakav bedak, baš mi ga je žao. Wink

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  • mire  Male
  • Elitni građanin
  • Pridružio: 18 Apr 2003
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  • Gde živiš: Beograd

jadnik, smrc ;')

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  • Pridružio: 18 Apr 2003
  • Poruke: 746

Nisam znao dal' ovo da stavim u Sex ili ovde, ali više je za smejanje Very Happy

Childless couple told to try sex

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_957945.html?menu=news.quirkies

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  • Pridružio: 18 Apr 2003
  • Poruke: 1819
  • Gde živiš: Beograd

The college girl was supposed to write a short story

in as few words as
possible for her English class and the instructions were
that it had to
include Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
She was the only one who received an A+
and this is what she wrote:


Good God,

I'm pregnant,

I wonder who did it

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  • Pridružio: 18 Apr 2003
  • Poruke: 1819
  • Gde živiš: Beograd

Kako provodadzisati - u jednoj lekciji Smile. Citajte i ucite Smile Smile

How business is done:

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son.

Jack: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case..."

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates.

Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill
Gates: "Ah, in that case..."

Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case..."

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  • Pridružio: 25 Jan 2004
  • Poruke: 2784
  • Gde živiš: Niš

Hehehehe moracu ovako nesto da isprobam Very Happy

Ali ionako sam ovako slicno vec radio u skoli, samo sto su u pitanju bile ocene... Wink

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  • Goran 
  • Prof.Mr.Dr.Sci. Traumatologije
  • Pridružio: 05 Maj 2003
  • Poruke: 9977
  • Gde živiš: Singidunum

Daću mu ponudu koju neće moći da odbije. Very Happy

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  • Pridružio: 03 Apr 2004
  • Poruke: 4513
  • Gde živiš: Novi Sad

Jelena :: Son: "I will choose my own bride!"


Ja samo ovo kazem Very Happy

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  • Pridružio: 16 Avg 2004
  • Poruke: 463
  • Gde živiš: Beograd

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM, YOUR
DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up
there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces,so that you can
tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for
it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque
books.
14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

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