Vicevi [bez komentarisanja!]

197

Vicevi [bez komentarisanja!]

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  • Pridružio: 29 Mar 2006
  • Poruke: 2215
  • Gde živiš: in the heart of the city

Zašto su Mujo i Haso dobili kilu u vojsci?
Rekao im starešina da dignu tenk u vazduh!

Registruj se da bi učestvovao u diskusiji. Registrovanim korisnicima se NE prikazuju reklame unutar poruka.
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  • Rogi  Male
  • Mod u pemziji
  • Najbolji košarkaš koji
  • je ikada igrao ovu igru
  • Pridružio: 31 Avg 2005
  • Poruke: 11687

Žali se Mujo Hasi da mu zafrkavaju sina u školi i da su mu dali nadimak.
- Koji nadimak? - pita Haso.
- Urac! - odgovori Mujo.
- A koje mu je pravo ime?
- Enis!

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  • Pridružio: 06 Jul 2005
  • Poruke: 52
  • Gde živiš: Hisingen

Ne znam krsim li kakvo pravilo, ali ovaj vic se mora ispricat na engleski:

Once it was a woman, who's husband worked in the armey, so he visited her max 2 times a year... so after a while... she begun to miss the sex, so she went to a dildo-store, to buy a vibrator.
In the shop, it was alot of vibrators... and the woman was new on this area, so she asked a man who worked in the store, he showed her a glass vibrator, and said "this is a very good vibrator, but if it breaks... it will hurt alot", so they whent to another, but she couldnt find one she liked... after a while she saw a wooden box who was on a table, and she asked "whats in that box?", and the man answered, "this is a magic vibrator, just say "magic vibrator, and then the area u want to be vibrated", she thaught that sounded nice, so she bought it... while she was driving home, she took up the vibrator and said "magic vibrator, my shoulders", and it started vibrating her shoulders... after a while she felt so good, so she screamed "MAGIC VIBRATOR, MY PUSSY!!!" and it started vibrating her pussy, then she got an orgasm, and crashed into a car... when the police arrived, he asked here "why did u crash into the car?" and she answered "well.... i bought this magic vibrator... and i made it vibrate my shoulders.. and after a while.. i made it vibrate my pussy, then i got an orgasm and crashed into the car...", then the police laughed and said "hahaha, magic vibrator... my ass!"

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  • Kaca  Female
  • Super građanin
  • Pridružio: 26 Sep 2004
  • Poruke: 1371
  • Gde živiš: blizuBG

Menjam polovan hamburger za dobro očuvan burek.

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Mujo i Haso kupuju karte za kino:
- Koji ćete položaj? - upita ih blagajnica.
- A kakav je film?
- Ratni.
- Onda dajte dva ležeća položaja.

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Semantika

- Zašto uraganima daju ženska imena?

- Zato što dolaze vlažni i divlji, ali pri odlasku odnose kuću i kola.

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  • Pridružio: 20 Jun 2005
  • Poruke: 274
  • Gde živiš: Cardak, ni na nebu ni na zemlji

sretnu se englez i mujo

kaze englez: how do you do

a mujo ce: tuturututu

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  • Pridružio: 06 Jul 2005
  • Poruke: 52
  • Gde živiš: Hisingen

-Koja je razlika izmedju pedera i frizidera?

-Frizider ne prdne kad iz njega izvadis kobasicu!

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  • Pridružio: 31 Maj 2003
  • Poruke: 324

Jedna uzbudjena gospodja svojih pedesetak godina, sela na Terazijama i zabrinuta za jedinstvenu Srbiju od Vladivodstoka do Pariza, zapanjeno pita: "Da li je moguce da ovi nasi studenti vicu Slobo-Sadame"!!! Jedan student joj odgovori: "Nije to nista gospodjo, u Bagdadu vicu Sadame-Slobo"!!!

Razgovaraju Mujo i Suljo. Mujo - aktivista SDA i obradjuje Sulju. Kaze mu:" Znas li ti, bolan, Suljo, da smo mi zivjeli 50 godina u mraku?" "Ma znam ja to, jadan Mujo, samo ne znam ko nam upali svijetlo, milu li mu majku!"

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  • Proučavanje međuvremena
  • Pridružio: 17 Maj 2006
  • Poruke: 16922
  • Gde živiš: I ja se pitam...

-Moja žena je pokupila sve i otišla od mene.
-Imaš sreće, moja nije otišla...

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  • Pridružio: 29 Okt 2006
  • Poruke: 1610
  • Gde živiš: nedaleko odavde

Ulazi Mujo u kuću i kaže:
- Fato pakuj se dobio sam na lotu!!!

Fata viče:
- Super, jel da se pakujem za planinu ili za more?

Mujo odgovara:
- Kako hoćeš, samo od**bi odavde!!!!!!

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  • Pridružio: 20 Jun 2005
  • Poruke: 274
  • Gde živiš: Cardak, ni na nebu ni na zemlji

pita uciteljica koji je to leteci sisavac,a mujo odgovara:stjuardesa...

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